What Can You Put In A Camelbak

misadventures of an Englishman in Scotland - Part II

E 'already difficult to feel a feral growl behind me can get feelings well-being, let alone when I'm busy - in the sense of the word urology - in front of a urinal in Scotland. Not being able to turn around, I start to reflect on irony of fate that I will die sooner or later, for reasons related to alcohol consumption is a scientifically established fact for some time - not only are born with a lethal mixture of Irish blood and English blood , but I also forget seven years of graduate school from hell sadistic brothers, yet here I am about to die suddenly while not to industrial quantities of whiskey in my liver but at the time of expelling so many liters of beer with so much force that the risk of winning (posthumously) the Queen Mother Award for Rapid Detoxification.
The growl is repeated and close as the river of beer - the beer was , to be precise - is exhausted. I turn and, as the steam dissipates, I begin to discern amid a tangle of reddish hair and fierce eyes two yellow fangs through which, together with a fearful breath, out of the foam looks decidedly unhealthy.
"GGGGGRRRRRRRREEEUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHH !!!!!!!"
remain petrified for a moment. By sadistic monks learned a number of things that they have defined Fundamental Life Skills, such as recognizing a Protestant to thirty feet, combining the verb "repent" in 37 different languages, and how to survive long in the desert without water holy, but I do not recall ever having studied how to do in case of an imminent attack by an angry boar.
"Are you saying that you should not walk with his farrre rrragazza."
around me baffled. Near the last urinal Calvinist lady is adjusting the kilt, which troubles me almost as much as the expression of threat of the beast that I am faced panting.
"But from where she checked out, please? Did not realize you were wrong bathroom?"
"Here there forrrmalizziamo perrr these things. Perrr walks with girlfriends altrrruì, however, we have rrregole, customs ...."
"But it is telling me this ... what is ... even human ...? "
" It 's frrratello of the bride. "
About carefully boar. In fact, under the mass of hair he wears a kilt.
" And, therefore, that beautiful girl that ... "I comes to mind that discuss the details of our trip in the woods - we have not found any huggis, but in reality we have not even tried - could be counterproductive. "I did not know was ..." I hesitate undecided: to be like that must give the her?
"GGGGGRRRRRRRREEEUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHH
!!!!!!!"" ... that was your girlfriend. OH GOD! "The idea that the girl could have allowed this sample regressed and repugnant to her he walks in the woods makes double the starters begin to return to it by the throat. "Holy Christ!"
"Son of Satan," screams the Calvinist, approaching threatening and pointing a finger at. "He appointed the Lord's name in vain! Puniscilo "
" GGGGGRRRRRRRREEEUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHH !!!!!!!"
man-boar takes a step forward and extends a paw toward me but before he can grab, the vomiting thoroughly confused him and he retreats. I turn and regurgitation what little remains of the starters on the Calvinist, then I left the bathroom and I go to England.

Pain In Jaw When I Drink

Hello my angel .. The disease that took you and
has taken away my dad is now taking away the mother of a dear friend ..
Now missing a few days and then relive the same pain the same empty
the same question .. Why. . And so I think of you what I'd say ..
I think of our chats on the phone, our
mail, to your voice .. You who are present every day in my life ..
To you I spend my nights with good .. And my good morning .. To you who
picking up your photo ask for help .. In a little while before falling asleep
Popes say good night good night good night emma ale ..
I hope your wings as he wrote your mother could embrace
Emma and accompany her on her journey .. I miss you so much. . Your Mara

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England fans: The Essential Guide, Part I

Manchester United
According to WWF, the Man U Fan ( diabolus ruber) is currently at high risk of extinction due to a virulent disease from the United States, which alters its natural red pigmentation, black and white in a sickly yellow-green. Unlike other fans, "Red Devil" is incapable of singing, a feature due in part to its propensity to graze near the camp, on sandwiches with shrimp. The species is found in all areas of the United Kingdom, with the exception of Merseyside, where, because of its genetic constitution, can not survive more than a few hours.

Everton
noble and intelligent creature, the Evertonian ( tifosus magnificus) stands out for its passion, sportsmanship and knowledge of football.

Manchester City
always subject to ridicule and / or pity, the backer of the City ( geek pateticus ) is now recovering thanks to the Arab initiative for the protection of species with disabilities. Recent studies indicate that inserting a gene into the DNA of the Argentine geek can lead to the development of capacity for joy previously absent. In the opinion of many experts, however, the availability of huge sums of money may not be sufficient to ensure the future of this animal raw and uncultivated.

Liverpool
Easily recognizable shockingly disproportionate to the ass, the Liverpool fan ( coglionus coglionus ) is now highly sought after not only by tourists eager to photograph the characteristic combination of the color of her scarf with those of his acne, but also by psychologists interested in studying the very special ways that issues of complaints every 90 seconds during the winter months. It feeds on penalties given away, taken from old scraps of decaying memory of the parent and illusions about its importance. While for some years in continental Europe flocks of "Liverpudlians" is sighted less often, England - thanks to the intervention of the Red Referees Association - continue to haunt many areas, especially in the northwest of the country.

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hello Zia ....



... I would hope that you catch me in her arms, which I click one thousand photographs and scold my mum because we see little .... Already one month has been difficult in many ways, but I knew you were there to protect me and I would not have anything bad happen .... Thank you because despite everything I can feel your touch. They say that when children see the Angels smile, I smile often, and certainly it is because I see you! You're my number 1 Aunt ...

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misadventures of an Englishman in Scotland - Part I

The bride was beautiful, the sun as well, but never as the girl who stood before me: tall, dark, no makeup, her skin was made in heaven and a look that would smear the Holy Spirit.
"Gheueeeedddduuuuuurrrrrrrhhha," the waiter said, arching an eyebrow at two points to get it low over his forehead and disappearing beneath the mane. Convinced he was going to expectorate, instinctively covered the pot of soup in front of me.
"The is asking what he wants as the first," explained the lady sitting to my left. "It 's the first time she is in Scotland, right?"
"I wish the young lady. Without boundary. So if you can gently clear the table and dishes that people ... "Not too encouraging the Calvinist couple on my right (there were already twenty minutes which spoke of" total depravity "and" limited atonement "- limited atonement, but not ashamed, I wanted to ask, even to force your god to be cheap?), said not out loud.
"You should taste the huggis, 'said the girl, gazing at me with eyes as dark as chocolate. He had a voice that made me melt.
"Do you mean haggis? Thank you for your advice but I'm allergic to the interior sheep. "
" No. Here in Strictshire there are sheep ... "
" The pecorre prrogenie are the devil, "explained one of the Calvinists. "We were in costrretti eliminarrle by nostrra Terrra."
Looking suspiciously, as if he suspected that I was some sort of livestock immoral, his wife nodded vehemently, "We purrrgato pecorrre of the county is that of English. About stranierrri, from which she is parrrte dell'Irrrlanda? "
" Ireland? But I'm Liv ... "The leg that I got under the table was accompanied by an almost imperceptible shake of the head by the girl. "Di Li Li Li ... ... ... Limerick."
Shit, I thought, I hope that now do not ask me more about that. The verbs "eliminarre" and "purrrgarrre" began to make a bad echo in my head.
"bring him a plate of huggis," she said to the waiter, getting up. I smiled and before I could I collect a few fragments of reason that I had split up, took my hand. "Come with me," she whispered. "I'll show you where it comes from the huggis."